Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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