whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
