He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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