So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
