i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
