I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
