His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize