I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
