Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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