i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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