he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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