i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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