I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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