it wasn't lemon gatorade
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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