OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
