I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
