and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
bring money and cleavage
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
