Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
