let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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