I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
PANTIES FOUND
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
