hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
