I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
