I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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