haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
