he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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