i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
