So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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