I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
