He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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