The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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