Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Randomize
