doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
