so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Randomize
