Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
