I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
