she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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