Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
