I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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