he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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