Sponge bath it is.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
