Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
