Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You dont lie about slip and slides
I need a burrito and a hug.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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