I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize