started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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