My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just google imaged poop.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
