And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
