so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
