you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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