now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
