He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
