i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
