based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize