dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
