my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dick very happy bro
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
