Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
