All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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