Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize