Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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