Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize