I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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