And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Boobs are out for the taking
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
