Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
