Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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