So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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