Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
