i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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